


While We're Being Honest

by WroughtBetwixt



Series: A Gamble At Terrible Odds [6]
Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Autistic Grizz, Awkward Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Family Issues, First Kiss, First Love, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Sam Tells Grizz Sooner, Secrets, Teen Pregnancy, Truth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:20:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22423240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WroughtBetwixt/pseuds/WroughtBetwixt
Summary: There hadn’t been a single Thanksgiving in Grizz’s memory that had ever gone well. Not until they came to their new world. Not until Sam, even with secret babies involved.
Relationships: Sam Eliot & Gareth "Grizz" Visser, Sam Eliot/Gareth "Grizz" Visser
Series: A Gamble At Terrible Odds [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1392832
Comments: 2
Kudos: 75





	While We're Being Honest

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set in the AGATO universe. Reading the rest isn't required, but good for context. <3 Thank you.
> 
> PSA: The first version posted was the rough draft. This is the final, edited version. Feel free to reread it for the full experience!

Of all the holidays, Thanksgiving was the worst.

Even before Grizz had discovered that it was a celebration of genocide, thoroughly ruining whatever appeal was left, Thanksgiving had never been much more than a day of torture by overstimulation. Near-strangers would pile into his home, yank him into hugs that made his skin crawl, squish his cheeks and force kisses from him, and then make him sit stone-still in a chair with clasped hands and gritted teeth as people droned on for hours about nothing. Any time he jiggled his leg or started to spin anything round he could get his hands on, his mother would kick him under the table and give him a stern look. If he started talking about dance, or painting, his father would start talking about football. In time, Grizz learned to simply stay silent.

It got worse as he got older, with family all constantly asking when he was going to get a girlfriend, or why he didn't smile more. His parents would always answer first, speaking loudly about how Grizz was a serious boy focused on his studies; Grizz would just stuff potatoes in his face and nod. It wouldn't do any good to talk about his favorite video games, or that he was memorizing Shakespeare's comedies, or how much he loved to volunteer at the animal shelter and play with the puppies there. He had to be a serious boy, with serious studies, because no one cared about anything else.

And maybe that was why Grizz sympathized with Campbell, and offered to help him. Grizz couldn't always understand Campbell's apathy, and he could admit the anger he saw moving through Campbell's veins scared the hell out of him, but he knew it scared Campbell, too. Being an abnormality was difficult. It wore a person down. Grizz knew better than most what it was like, and if they could help each other... well, that wasn't a bad thing, was it?

It seemed to work out for Grizz, in the end.

Although Grizz was highly suspicious that the whole British Sign Language thing had been a set-up, it still made Sam smile when Grizz tried it out, which led to daily meet-ups while Sam taught Grizz ASL instead. For the first time in a very, very long time, Grizz had woken up each morning feeling something pretty close to happiness. And now, here on Thanksgiving, Sam was in Grizz's room, admiring the trophies and awards like they actually mattered.

They'd ditched the community dinner and gone back to Grizz's house instead. For privacy, Sam had said. Why did they need privacy? Grizz didn't know, but he had never been happier to skip Thanksgiving.

Well, not exactly true. He would be even happier later, after he found out people got poisoned, but-- at that very moment-- one of the happiest moments of his life. When Sam had walked through the high school doors as a Freshman, Grizz had immediately felt flutters in his chest. Of course, Grizz had been pretending to be straight at the time; there was no way he could come out yet, and Sam deserved to be with someone who was as open and proud as Sam was. That times was over. It didn't matter anymore. Maybe Grizz finally stood a chance, if he could manage to do more than awkwardly flirt. He'd been trying since prom, and either he was just terrible at it, or Sam was oblivious.

Both, maybe.

Either way, Sam had stopped exploring and was watching Grizz, a little smile tugging at his lips. "What are you thinking about?"

Crap. Grizz scrambled for something. Anything. His eyes darted to his collection of Marvel movies. "Uh, you know. Just wondering what Tony Stark would do in a situation like this."

"Like what?"

"Trapped in some weird parallel world with no visible escape."

"I think the movies already covered what he'd done." Sam's smile turned a little mischievous, and suddenly Grizz could see the brotherly resemblance between him and Campbell. Oh boy. "I wonder how he'd handle being alone with the cutest football player in the school."

Grizz couldn't help but laugh. "Smooth moves there, Eliot."

"Thank you. Trading my hearing for charm was a smart choice."

Blushing, Grizz quickly pivoted away from the banter and directed Sam's attention to the movie collection. No, Sam wasn't oblivious. He knew. How long had he known? Since prom, surely. That was when he seemed to start warming up to Grizz, and oh god, Grizz had been making a total numbskull out of himself the whole time since. But thankfully, Sam was happy to talk fandom stuff while Grizz recovered. They shared their favorite shows, books, games, and Sam was the first person face-to-face who actually grasped the concept of queer representation. Talking to Sam was easy, or at least, easier than talking to anyone had ever been. He actually seemed interested in what Grizz had to say, and didn't act bored when Grizz rambled about anything and everything.

Eventually, Sam sat down on Grizz's bed, patting the space next to him. "It's too bad we didn't hang out more back home," he said as Grizz settled close by. "I thought all you were interested in was sports."

Grizz shrugged. "I mean, it was all that was safe to talk about, for me. Old Ham wasn't really a hub of progressive values."

"No, it wasn't. But you were about to graduate with a scholarship, right?"

"That was the plan. How did you know?"

"Oh." Sam's cheeks flushed. "Well, what guy doesn't have a crush on a jock in high school?"

"Wish I would have known that sooner."

"Oh? I didn't think you were interested."

The flash of surprise on Sam's face made Grizz falter. Looking down at his hands for a moment, Grizz tried to think of something to say that didn't sound pathetic. "I thought if I hung out with you, Clark and the others would make fun of me," he finally replied. "But you always seemed kind, and I guess I wish I'd had more kind people in my life. I wish I could have been kinder to people."

Sam leaned closer. Grizz hadn't said anything about Dewey, but maybe Sam understood. "What's happened, happened. I don't think you're unkind."

"Yeah?" Grizz shook his head, pushing the image of that day in the woods out of his head. As much as he ever could, anyways. "Why's that?"

"You treat me like a person. Most guys I've talked to bail once they find out I'm deaf."

"Seriously? That sounds lonely."

"It has been. I always thought I'd just, you know, die alone. Especially after coming here."

"Me too, kind of. My family hammered it into my head that I should be straight. I figured I'd escape when I went to college, but being here with a bunch of homophobes? Yikes."

"Your parents weren't supportive?" Sam wondered. "They always seemed nice."

Grizz snorted. "Yeah, well. Goes to show you. What about yours?"

"Mm. I don't know how my parents would have reacted if I'd brought a boy home. I grew up thinking they were just..." Sam trailed off, a far away look in his eyes for a moment. He shrugged. "I don't have bad memories of them, but a lot changed after I lost my hearing, I guess. The way Campbell talks about it, maybe it wouldn't have been okay."

Grizz hesitated, then reached out and lightly rested his hand on Sam's hand. "I've heard a little about it from Campbell. He said they treated you pretty differently, so maybe they would have been okay about it."

"Maybe. I don't know. I don't remember much about how they were, before." Sam frowned. "I was only three, maybe four, when it happened. I had meningitis. Do you know what that is?"

"It's an infection in the membrane of the brain, right?"

"Mhm. And maybe it's because of being sick, my memory problems. I barely remember being in the hospital. What my parents were like then... I don't know. All I really remember is bits and pieces of noise. My mother's voice. My dad's laugh. Sometimes, I can hear in my dreams. But it's always old things, from before. Being deaf is okay by me, but I sometimes wish I could hear new sounds."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Music. My favorite shows. I remember what my voice was like when I was a kid, but I'm guessing it's a little deeper now." They both chuckled at that. Sam fell silent, searching Grizz's face. "I wish I could hear your voice."

Grizz felt his heart flutter. "Hey, Sam?" Grizz asked, swallowing hard and forcing himself not to fidget his leg. Sam looked at Grizz's lips a lot, of course, but this time his eyes lingered there. He didn't understand a lot of social cues, but Grizz felt like he understood that one. "Can I ask you... How do you sign 'kiss me'?"

Their gazes met. Grizz couldn't read Sam's expression, but Grizz was preparing to apologize when Sam leaned in; it took a second for Grizz to register that he was being kissed, but then holy shit Sam was kissing him, and Grizz kissed back. Grizz had kissed girls before, but it had never felt right. Not like this. It had never made him feel intoxicated, like he wanted to just melt into the other person. Before, he'd always just wanted to get it over with, but with Sam, he wanted it to last forever.

Except Sam was pulling away, an odd expression on his face. Sadness? Guilt? Shit. Grizz cursed himself for moving too fast. He'd done something wrong. But Sam had seemed so open to it, so what was going on?

"I have something I need to tell you," Sam confessed. "I really like you. You're amazing, and I want to just keep kissing you, but I want to be honest with you."

Grizz blinked, unsure of what to say. Sam didn't seem the type to have skeletons in his closet, but, well, didn't everyone have some sort of secret? "You can tell me anything. I promise, I'll keep it to myself."

"That's the thing. This is something that's going to get out eventually. I want you to hear it from me, first."

"Sam, whatever it is, I can handle it. I promise."

At first, Sam just gazed down at their hands. Grizz gave them a little squeeze of reassurance. Taking a deep breath, Sam finally spoke, his voice shaking. "Before we came here, about nine months ago, Becca and I slept together one time. We were lonely and I guess I wanted to try being normal. We used protection, but something must have gone wrong, and..." His voice cracked. "Becca's pregnant. I'm the father."

Several things went through Grizz's mind all at once. The first thought was a wordless sort of shock, followed by incredulity-- Grizz had heard rumors that Becca was pregnant, but Sam? The father? Hurt followed quickly on it's heels. How come Sam hadn't said anything sooner? But then Grizz stopped, took a breath, and closed his eyes while he processed. Sam was human. People didn't always fit neatly into little boxes, and besides, it's not like Sam had known then how Grizz felt. Grizz certainly hadn't acted on it. There was no one to blame, here. Sam hadn't done anything bad. And fuck, Sam was so young. So was Becca. They were probably terrified.

"Does Becca know you're gay?" Grizz blurted out before he could think. "Does she know how you feel about me?"

Sam nodded, his eyes glassy. Oh, no. He was going to cry. "I'm sorry," he whimpered. "I don't want you to be angry with me."

"Hey, I'm not. I'm not angry with you."

And that was when Sam lost it. Grizz hated hugs under the best of circumstances, but Sam was important, and he was scared. If ever there was a good time for a hug... Grizz tugged Sam to him, curling his arms around Sam and holding him. He didn't bother saying anything. It's not like Sam could hear him, or read his lips since Sam was burrowed against Grizz's chest, and there wasn't much else to say. Grizz wasn't sure how he felt about the baby news, but he knew how he felt about Sam. That was what mattered.

Grizz rubbed Sam's back until Sam was just quietly sniffling. Sam pulled back enough to read Grizz's lips, rubbing his eyes and letting out a tiny hiccup. "I understand if you want me to leave."

"Are we still in honesty mode?"

"Yes."

"I kind of want you to stay forever," Grizz said as he brushed a tear from Sam's cheek. "While we're being honest, I mean."

Sam frowned. "But the baby..."

"Needs a family, right? A community?"

"Grizz."

"I'm just saying. Look, I'm not sure what to think about it all. It's serious stuff. Raising a kid with someone is a lot of emotional work-- I watched my cousin go through it when she was pretty young. But I like you. I like you being here with me. And if that means supporting you through this, we'll work it out."

Sam stared at Grizz, then took his hands back and signed something.

"What does that mean?" Grizz asked.

"It means 'kiss me'."

Cupping Sam's face, Grizz kissed him again. It started off soft, sweet, but then Sam began to kiss harder; Grizz slid his hands under Sam's clothes as they ended up in bed, under the covers, helping Sam wiggle out of them and tossing them to the floor. Neither of them had been with another guy before, from what Sam had said earlier, but that didn't matter. By the end of the night, they were curled up together, a satisfied smile on Sam's face as he slept.

Grizz couldn't sleep. Not yet. He watched Sam instead, feeling awe at the fact that Sam wasn't just his first, but that with Sam, he hadn't felt overwhelmed or anxious for the first time in a long, long time. There was something special about Sam. Grizz could feel it in his heart, as sure as he'd ever felt anything else before. The idea that Sam was about to be a father was still a surprise, and he had so many questions about what it meant or how things would work. Still. Grizz, if he let himself be honest with himself, already knew without a doubt, if this one night led to something else-- if Sam wanted it to be more-- Grizz would give him whatever he wanted.

Closing his eyes, Grizz snuggled against Sam, and smiled as Sam snuggled back.

Maybe they wouldn't have to be alone, after all.


End file.
